Avery Avulsion

So. It's been a while since I've had a blog, journal, or anything like that. I tried keeping track of my life in a notebook, but that didn't work out. It made me feel like I was keeping a secret, and I knew I'd be horrified if anybody ever found it. Plus it made me feel sorta crazy. As if one day a therapist would see what's inside and go, "wow, you really are fucked up". At least on the internet, I feel like my words have a purpose. Somebody might find them, and somebody might understand. Or they might not. They might just react like my metaphorical therapist.

I'm not even sure how to talk about myself. Who am I? What am I like as a person? Why am I doing this? I'm not really sure -- I'm trying to figure all of this out. I decided I should start getting my feelings out and documenting my existence somewhere. I don't do much living, currently, and I feel like I might disappear entirely if I don't cement myself in these words. I was a little bit worried about being judged, but I've always tried not to care about that kind of stuff. If I'm constantly bending around the opinions of others, am I really living my life as me?

I hope I actually remember this page exists. And I hope I don't become stupidly embarrassed about it. I just want to live without regretting every single little thing I do.